Discovering Normal #Nannylife

While writing this I am sitting on a bench at a playground surrounded by children of all ages and parents of all dispositions. Becoming a nanny has been an interesting transition for my life. In some ways I feel like I have become a mom prematurely, as the booster seats in my car, kids snacks in my bag and phone with endless adorable pictures can testify. (I even had a nightmare that my car was stolen and the little boy inside was kidnapped on my watch.) My days are filled with outings to parks, Bass Pro Shop or the zoo, conversations with parents also determined for children’s days to be more than just television or the back yard, and seemingly endless driving. I strongly considered beginning to get a business degree online during this time, but I realized I would have absolutely no time to rest. Which is what I’m used to. That’s why this is hard for me in the weirdest way, I’m leading the life that most people have all of their lives to be normal, and I have to choose to not go back to doing every imaginable thing except sleep. My life up until this point has been extraordinary; filled with travel, uniqueness and pulling long hours. But now I work Monday through Friday and get home tired from driving in traffic around 5 pm. My weekends are full of church and friends and making a legitimate date happen. 

The funny thing is that I’m finally learning all the normal every day life things that most people seem to have always known, but my irregular life did not lend to me learning to begin with. Things like closing the garage door when you pull out, waiting in a car line to pick a child up from school or making lunch for me and a little guy every day. Actually it’s the every day bit that is the most crazy to me. I’m doing the same thing every day, every week. But the most shocking part is not being to leave and do what I want when I want just as long as I ask off. I can’t leave because that would screw over the family, they can’t just put the kids in daycare for a month randomly. I’m a part of their lives, practically family. And this is good. It’s good to see things from the perspective of most of the people I come across. It’s good to know what it is like to be committed to something and not be free to do all that I would like to do, but be doing all God wants me to do for right now. It’s good to be content in the season of life I find myself, anticipating with forward joy what God has in store for the future. It’s good to discover normal.

P.S. In case this wasn't well communicated, I totally love my job and it is exactly what I needed. God is so good. Well behaved kids are the best thing ever.

Stress is Bad.

It has always struck me how often it happens that when you are encouraging someone else you are just speaking truth to yourself. I was just reminding a close friend of mine in a similar situation that stress does not bring glory to God, when in actually I'm needing to hear that myself. Stress really is an interesting thing. It starts with worry, and soon it is a weight you don't know how to get out from under. Usually little things that you feel you have no control over keep piling up and before you know it, you are trapped. 

But what does it really mean when we stress? From what I can tell it can mean one of two things. Either we are afraid God won't come through for us, or we think we are more powerful than God and will therefore ruin everything. When put like that it seems pretty ridiculous to stress out because both are against the very nature of this all powerful, all good and loving God that we serve. Would God ever call us to something then leave us there hanging only to laugh at our failure? Never. He loves us and has bigger plans than we can imagine. Why would He do that to us? But not only that, but to Himself! He would be shaming His great name by being unfaithful and messing up His own plans. But we don't like the openly blame God, so we blame ourselves and say that we are afraid of hearing God wrong, or of not following Him well, or of generally screwing over every dream we had of being all we were meant to be. But that thought assumes that we, people who are doing our level best to seek God, could accidentally override the creator of the universe. As if His plans are so flimsy that we, while doing all we know to do, would ruin God and therefore ourselves. I don't want to serve that petty of a God. I want to serve a God Who is greater than I am. Isn't that the point of serving Him in the first place? Because He is worthy. 

So like I said, lately I was stressed out. About many many things in fact. But God is sovereign, and that gives me peace. It isn't up to me to work out my life. Like Micah 6:8 says, "He has told you men what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: Only to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God." That is pretty simple honestly. 

And yet in light of all of this, in the face of my near faithlessness that I would ever find a job or peace, God has been faithful. I have accepted a position as a nanny and will be able to do and be all the things God has called me to. I will be able to save money for Kona, get enough rest, have time to do ministry, and be a positive influence over this little boy. 

So yes, stress is bad, but God is good.

Re-Entry

Re-entry is such a unique experience. Unlike when you are first going to a foreign place and you know there will be new things and have an open mind to them, you expect to be able to fit right back in as you were before. The thing that has most caught me off guard (other than often attempting to get in the wrong side of the car) is how much I've forgotten. Things about my house, like the awkward half stairs, which towel rack is mine in the bathroom, and where my clothing is or should go, seemed to have vanished from my consciousness. There have been times where I just had to sit on the floor in a ball because I felt so overwhelmed. Other times I broke down because of leaving behind the kids that need my love in South Africa. Yet I know this is where God has called me to be right now, and I choose to trust Him. It has been beyond amazing to reconnect with friends and family, but things are different than they used to be. I've changed as a person, and so have they. Not only that but circumstances are different. The real thing to keep in mind is: what is worth it? My temptation is to attempt to do everything and keep up relationship with everybody and not take time for myself or sleep. But that doesn't bring God glory and is in fact disobedience. So that's intense.

I'm currently in the "I'm about to have a job" zone with doing odd jobs until it comes through. I've finally set up multiple ministries and am beginning to find my niche and am figuring out how to live here again. Please keep me in your prayers as I continue to process and get back in the swing of things. And thank you for your support all along the way.


P.S. I WENT TO JAMAICA AND SURPRISED TIM AND IT WAS PERFECT. 
It was the best Valentine's Day and anniversary ever <3 Here is a picture on the beach but we are now both back in Denver and ministering and doing life together. 

More Than Just Middle Earth

I have been in New Zealand for a week now and it has been beyond lovely! I’m staying with Rosemary, a friend of my father’s from YWAM in the 80’s.

Rosemary and my dad in 1984 on outreach in LA

This has been an incredible time of rest, of refreshment and of renewal. It’s been a blessing to have someone who has years of knowledge in everything I’ve been experiencing to process with and simply enjoy this beautiful country with. I’ve noticed that although talking about hard things is helpful, it is almost more helpful to just be able to live life in a way that is different from the last 6 months and realize that it is still full of joy. I hadn’t realized the amount of stress I had put myself under, but now that the adrenaline has died down a bit, my body has informed me quite clearly that it is time for a break. I got the message loud and clear. I have been sleeping in, going to the beach, doing touristy things (Hobbiton was the first thing on the list. I also got to see where they shot scenes from Narnia, which I didn’t even know should be on the list),

 

Celebrating Waitangi day like a Kiwi

and playing a lot of guitar. I just heard from Tim that he’s back in Jamaica, which is extremely exciting in the department of getting to talk to him at all. I’m gearing up for the whirlwind of coming back home and getting swept up in seeing friends and family and getting started on the next phase of life. God keeps reminding me that this next season is a very unique one for me. Learning not only the principles of humility and selflessness, but also of rest. As the doctor I had to see here told me, I can’t take care of everyone else if I don’t take care of myself. I have always been the type to be constantly busy, and I already have a ridiculously long list of things I want to be doing during this next year. However God has insisted that I need to simply do what He tells me, no more and no less. Otherwise, I’m no longer following Him, I’m working from my own strength and I will surely tire myself out all over again. This is a season of preparation, and I can’t do it my way. I’ve changed a lot as a person during this time, but this change of mind frame might be the most noticeable in everyday life. 

Going to the beach #NewZealandNationalDay

Wrapping It Up

I'm back on the couch in the rec room in Sydney, Australia, with Gloria Jean's coffee in my belly and Airendelle (my computer) on my lap. Can such things be?? Commissioning is tomorrow night, we wrap up debriefing Friday and Saturday I leave this place and season of my life behind me as a board a flight to New Zealand. Everything is happening so fast! This has been an incredible time and I know I will never forget it.

For the last few weeks especially I have been refocusing. Remembering why I'm doing what I'm doing. (Because Jesus is worthy and I love Him) Remembering to make the most of every opportunity as it presents itself. (As opposed to living in the future or the past) 
Remembering who I am. (And that I have a responsibility to be me, because this world needs a me and no one else can do it) Remembering that my time is precious and short. (There is some truth to YOLO) And as a result I have been enjoying each moment on a whole new level, which has been amazing.

I have edited what I'm doing after DTS a bit.... I will not be going to the Kona base for the School of Acting for the Screen this April. It was too much too soon. Also I had wrong motivations, so I will be applying for the same school in April of 2016 instead. During this upcoming year or so I will be doing several ministries God has given me heart for in Denver, so I plan on continuing to blog. I also hope to tell more specific stories about outreach in South Africa as I process it and get around to writing about it. In the meantime, I have posted a new page called Outreach Report to hopefully answer some of your questions. (Theoretically it should show up on the side bar of the blog... wifi is really dodgy on the base currently) 

I hope to be posting more soon, but I am very busy with finalizing everything here and traveling and suchness. But know that I am beyond ecstatic for everything God has in store for this next phase, and I do plan on keeping you up to date with it all. I love you all very much and can't wait to see you as I come back stateside! 

Last Newsletter from South Africa!

Here is the update I just wrote representing our whole team as of today. It will be emailed out soon hopefully... Enjoy!

Dear loved ones,

Blessings from the beautiful nation of South Africa! We are in the last few days of our outreach here, but here is an update on all we’ve been up to!

This new year has brought many new things for our team here in Cape Town! We kicked off the New Year by performing in a service at our host church, The Father’s House. The exact moment that the calendar flipped over went by unnoticed as we were immersed in prayer and worship. May our year be consumed with prayer and worship from start to finish! 

The new year came right in the middle of our kids holiday club! This was an unbridled success for our team and provided an incredible venue to really minister to the kids who have been hanging on our fence every morning. The first day we only bought enough snacks for an estimated 20 children, but over 70 ended up coming! But don’t worry, we managed. We led them in worship and shared over four days the complete message of God redeeming man and divided the children into 4 groups by age in which to have group discussion. Then they rotated through stations: dance, snacks, games and intercession. Every station was a blessing in affirming the value of each child and brought enjoyment and encouragement. The intercession station was quite unique as it more or less replaced a craft station. We encouraged the kids to ask God questions such as, “Who are You?”, “What do You think about me?”, and “What do You want for my community?” and then write or draw in response. Many of the kids were writing and drawing incredibly deep things and copying down scripture to pray over their area. Several of the children gave us encouraging words written in conversation form between them and Jesus. Granted some of them still scribbled and drew pictures of cars, but it was a time to learn how to hear God’s voice. It was a blessing to the leaders and the children and thoroughly enjoyed. God was so faithful throughout the entire camp and many children received Jesus and were eager to read the Bibles we gave them.

After finishing up the kids holiday club, our team moved to the Muizenberg YWAM base for a couple of weeks. It was an amazing blessing to be surrounded by our fellow YWAM family and to be so close to the beach! The community was entirely different from that of Heideveld. Although the sound of gunshot and the Muslim call to prayer were both regular occurrences in the Cape Flats, the people were open and eager to talk about God, maybe because they were fully aware that they were not living the lives they were intended to live. However in Muizenberg the spiritual atmosphere was entirely different. In a surf culture, everything is relative, new age is popular, witchcraft accepted, and why talk about Jesus when you can talk about the crazy wind? People were apathetic and content to be so. We made a point of having regular prayer and worship as a team to stay focused in such an environment and were conscious in acting out of love to all the people around us, including those involved in YWAM and locals. Sadly, our leaders Tania and Etienne, as well as their two children, traveled back to Sydney in order to begin the next DTS. They truly were a blessing, but it has also been beautiful to have Hye Jin join us and bring that mother’s touch to our group, assisting Pate.

It was during our stay in Muizenberg that we had the opportunity to minister in the

townships of Capricorn and Overcome. Capricorn had cramped housing and litter everywhere, but there were still paved streets, many houses with television dishes on the tin roofs, and a public playground. But as we walked deeper through the twists and turns of what must be called a neighborhood, we found ourselves in Overcome that was barely more than rutted dirt roads with water taps every few meters 

and barefoot children running on groups over the broken glass surrounding the makeshift shacks. The children were starved for attention and quickly attached themselves to our group, holding our hands, plaiting our hair and showing off their gymnastics. One thing that was extremely encouraging in this seemingly hopeless place was the amount of church presence we witnessed. You could not walk far without encountering a church with signs showing when their services were several times a week. When we went door to door talking with people and praying with them, they often recognized us as being connected with the local church body. Even though we will not be able to return again in our short time remaining here, it is encouraging to note that the churches in the area are being very faithful in showing Christ’s love to the area, and the local YWAM base sends in people to evangelize and build relationship weekly. 

As a performing arts team, we have often been able to bless others through our song, dance and acting. This includes randomly around the house and on the street, as well as at organized functions like the YWAM cooperate worship. We had the privilege of conducting a church service in Capricorn by performing island dancing and giving testimonies. They were an incredible blessing to our team, anointing us with oil and sending us out. We were invited to attend and perform at the pastor’s wife’s birthday party, which was an amazing cultural experience, including a five course African feast. 

Our biggest venue of ministry has been in a colored community inaccurately named Ocean View. For hours on end we have played with abused and neglected children who have no where else to go during school holiday. Some of us are sunburnt from the amount of soccer played with the boys just old enough to begin entering gangs. Some of us have had dread locks in our hair from the amount of little girls playing with it. Some of us have sore arms from the amount of children we have picked up and swung around. Some of us have sore pride from being so brutally beaten in badminton. But all of us have full hearts—full of love, compassion and joy. Even though it is clear these children have suffered from every form of abuse and would rather be on the street than at home, they are still bundles of joy and always wanting to dance and cuddle. We were working with a DTS here on outreach from Kona, Hawaii, USA. They have been able to be more of a constant presence with these kids and will continue to reach out to them after we leave the country in a few days. An even more constant presence within the community is the local church we were working with. We were able to attend their anointed Wednesday night service and bless them with a performance and testimony from our team, but honestly we were far more blessed by that beautifully genuine church. Even today they were running a feeding program for the children and their families who might not have access to nutritious food. As part of their ministry, they run the Praise Cafe which offers affordable food, but more importantly a safe atmosphere and real loving people to talk and pray with. They were an incredible blessing to our team, and it was a privilege to labor with them.

We also had the opportunity to hike Table Mountain as a team on our “day off.” The view was incredible and the climb definitely tested our endurance as it took up to 3 hours. Taking the cable car back down only took 5 minutes. The first time we attempted the trek we were conned out of our team debit card, so that ended in a long process at the police station. Although our lack of team finances due to the robbery has been challenging, it has definitely strengthened us as a team and we have seen it as an opportunity: to pray for those men who may not have anyone in the world praying for them, to see the Lord move on our behalf, and to allow God to work through us to bless our own team members. God has been faithful, and we have not lacked anything to accomplish what He has brought us here to do. 

The birthdays of Teira, Kristina and Katelyn were joyously celebrated since our last newsletter. Rest assured, they were far from forgotten! 

Prayer points!

Thanksgiving for...

-Safety for Tania, Etienne and the kid’s travels back to Australia

-Safety for Hye Jin (who as I am writing this is currently traveling back to Sydney, so putting this under thanksgiving instead of requests is a prophetic act on my part)

-God providing despite the theft

-Ministry opportunities 

-Continual blessing from those we are partnering with

-God’s protection 

-Success every time we perform, whether spontaneous or planned

-General health and wellbeing 

-the joy serving with the people in our team and otherwise

Requests:

-That we would finish strong even in our few remaining days

-Pate, as he is now singlehandedly leading 11 girls between the ages of 18 and 22

-Unity as we perform and reach out in the Cape Flats

-Safety as we are back in the ghetto and as we journey back to Sydney this week

-Continued provision as we have very limited access to team funds

-That we would make the most of every opportunity

-The churches, communities and schools we are touching in this last week

Thank you so much for your continued support and partnering with us in what God is doing here in South Africa! We look forward to catching you up more individually once we are back safely in Sydney! May God’s grace and peace be upon you. Love, 

Pate, Karissa, Annika, Teira, Kaitlyn, Stephanie, Kristina, Ida, Kate, Sade, Helene, and Megan <3

Photo Cred: Teira and Hye Jin
Laptop Cred: Teira (THANK YOU)

Outreach Update (Jan 2nd)

This lovely update was written on January 2nd by one of my fabulous team members, and was emailed out. But for those of you who didn't receive the email and I haven't had a chance to chat with when I randomly had internet, here is a quick and belated update!

Dear families and friends,

This is the YWAM Performing Arts Team newsletter from Cape Town, South Africa! We have been here for 3 weeks now, and we have been enjoying it so much. 

Cape Town is considered the most beautiful city in the world not only by the people who live here, but worldwide. From everything we have seen of the city, we most definitely agree! It is a very diverse nation both culturally and racially. This blend creates an exciting atmosphere, as well as excellent food! There are also many striking thing about this country. None of us have ever experienced such stark contrast between rich and poor. Its as if it is a patchwork quilt. While the city and some neighborhoods are modern and picturesque, another only minutes away, is made of only tin shacks. 

We are staying at a small church called the Father’s House located in the Cape Flats just outside the city. This area is populated by the coloured people of South Africa. Our ministry here so far has been focused on a 2 hour Christmas production for the church that has been hosting us. We presented a different kind of Christmas to them this year, because we featured Christmas songs, skits, and dances from our homes in Scandinavia, the Islands, and America! Christmas is celebrated in almost every country world wide, and yet in such beautifully different ways. It was a pleasure for all of us to share our countries traditions along with the story of Jesus’ birth! The production was a great success, praise God!

We have also been helping out here in South Africa in other ways. The large amount of children in our neighborhood are always ready to play and are at our gate every day. We have had many opportunities to be their friends and show them God’s love. We also helped out a local church by cleaning some of their old rooms and kitchen. They were getting ready to renting it out to an organization planning on transforming it into a clinic, and needed it desperately cleaning before the deal was about to be made. It looked marvelous by the time we were done with it. We were definitely a great help!

As some of you know, one of our leaders fell and broke her ankle in the first week of our outreach. This set us back a  bit, but thanks to your prayers, God’s grace, and skillful doctors, she did not have to fly back to Australia. She was in the hospital for over a week, but during this time we were able to minister to the patients there by caroling, talking, and praying with them. She is back with us now, and getting better by the day! She’s not alone as she had plenty of family to be there for her.

Our Christmas was a joyful, but bittersweet because we missed all of our families and friends back home. It’s just not the same without you! However, we are here doing God’s work, and that brings us more joy than any celebrating could ever offer. After all, Jesus left his heavenly home to be born for us on the very first Christmas, and we have left you to bring that same gift to the people of South Africa. The week of Christmas one of the Aunties of the church and her family prepared dinner and desert for us. It was very special. Even the table was set with personalized cards with Bible verses for each one of us, and a package of cookies! On Christmas Eve, we attended the Hillsong South Africa service in Cape Town, and then had dinner as a family. The next morning we attended and performed at the Christmas Day service here at the Father’s House. Afterwards, we spent Christmas with our leaders family who live here in South Africa. The food was very different from what we are usually used to, but so good! We also had a secret Santa gift exchange that night, and watched Home Alone.

Since Christmas, we have already been busy with new ministries such as performing at a crusade (or camp meeting), and creating a Vacation Bible School for the children in our neighborhood. This has been our first day with the kids, and it has been amazing so far! We will have some more news about this for you very soon.

Prayer Points: 

Thankful for...

~ A successful Christmas production

~ Blessings with our finances and food 

~  Protection

~ Ministry opportunities. Although things didn’t happen exactly how we had planned, God has given us other opportunities!

~ Locals who have stepped in to help us

~ Transportation 

Keep in your prayers…

~ Our leader Tania who fell and broke her ankle. That God would continue to be in the situation and that is would heal quickly.

~ Our Leader Pate, who is doing a wonderful job leading a team of 11 girls! That he would continue to rely on God and lead us into higher and higher ministry each day. 

~ The Church and Community whom we are serving. That we would be able to truly transform this area and bring light! the kids whom we are building relationship especially. 

~ Protection. That we will be able to continue serving South Africa under an anointing of health and safety. 

~ Focus. That even though there may be much to see and do here in this beautiful country, that we will continue to remember whom we are serving and the people HE wants us to reach. Jesus be the center! 

In Christ, 

Anni, Helene, Ida, Karissa, Kate, Katie, Kristina, Megan, Pate, Sade, Steph, Tania and Teira.