A Bit of Sketching...

We are currently putting together a 2 hour Christmas production for South Africa. We have next to no time to do this, but if God is for us, who can be against us. Certainly not Time, right? 

So in the midst of planning and lectures I've begun sketching just a bit. It was actually prophesied over me that my drawings would be powerful, so that inspired me to get a sketch book and just start having fun with it. I don't claim to be amazing. They aren't done. But all disclaimers aside, I hope you enjoy these! 

I drew this based off of a picture I had while prophesying over someone while in Melbroune, and although I couldn't do what I saw justice, I still wanted to capture the concept.

This may or may not have happened purely because I'm wearing a Belle shirt.

My way of taking notes in class.

For those of you who just said, "That's a lot of stems." It's actually one of those reed things that you put flowers in. Don't let it distract you so much.

This one I'm still working on... but it is about child soldiers in Africa.

Steadfast Joy

"God I love how You have given me Joy as a second middle name and just declared that characteristic over my life, like a butterfly. And I love it God how You've created Tim to be Steadfast, like an anchor, and how he reflects that aspect of You so well."

"Karissa.."

"And I thank you God how You are even more my anchor and even more steadfast than he is.."

"Karissa...."

"Thank you Jesus for how You've brought us together and how we balance each other so well."

"Karissa!"

"Yes, Lord?"

"Just because Tim is steadfast does not give you an excuse to not reflect that part of My character as well."

BAM.

And that's how it happened. 

Basically I had been using my (amazing) relationship as an excuse to not grow because, "that's his strength. Isn't it great how we compliment each other?" Not that there isn't some truth to that, but it is not a good enough reason to not pursue becoming Christlike for myself.

I was challenged about how although I could be quite joyful it was not consistent. Frankly I'm only as Christlike as I am at my worst moments. Which meant I had to start over. Go back. Re-look at the fruit of the spirit found in Galatians. Was I ALWAYS demonstrating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? HECK NO. Yeah, that's a problem.

I totally was when everything went my way. Isn't everyone? But when things got hard, when I was spiritually attacked, when I was hungry and tired, I was NOT joyful or any of the other traits. 

God has specifically called me to live out Joy, so that's the one He focused on. He brought James 1:2-4 to my attention:

 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,

 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (emphasis mine)

I want to lack nothing! I actually really want to be perfect and complete too. So basically I need steadfastness to have it's full effect right? Which means that I have to go through trials. And not just go through them, but meet them with Joy. That's hard. But guess what? James 1:12 says "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him." 

So I got a henna to remind me. And because I love henna a lot. 

(sadly it is worn off now)

But man, God is so good. Right after learning all of this I got the opportunity to implement this truth in my life. I went through a trial, but the entire time this is what was going through my head. I could feel the Holy Spirit holding me through the whole thing. And that just made me in awe of how indescribably GOOD God is! And that made me joyful! And then I realized I was joyful, and that made me praise God more for His infinite goodness and I became MORE joyful! It's an incredible cycle.

Now I wake up literally every morning and think, "God, I get to be with You today!" And I get all excited! If I'm ever feeling a bit down I just have to remember that God is good, and I get my joy back all over again. What can I say? I'm in love. I just have to remember everything He's already done, how He is with me and cares about me in that moment and how He has amazing plans for my future and everything is worth it. It has to be Him working through me because otherwise I should be... well how I used to be. But I'm never going back. 

In fact in honor of that I got baptized today! Again. Yeah I know, weird. I was 6 years old when I was first baptized, and I had to take a class and fully understood what I was doing and everything, but I wanted to commemorate how I am a new person and the old Karissa is dead. Also, Jesus was baptized right before He entered into His ministry and I'm about to embark on my adult ministry as well, so it seemed fitting.

I'm doing incredibly well in life now that I'm filled with constant Joy and Love. I'm a crazy Christian that is always excited about what God is doing and talking about Him to random strangers. And that won't be changing anytime soon.

A New Kind of Love

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other command greater than these." -Jesus. (Mark 12:30-31)

This is the basis of true Christianity. After all, "God is love." (1 John 4:8)

Turns out I had not truly understood this like I thought I had. 

I've had this draft open for weeks. I'm not very good at posting regularly; I've never claimed to be. However it turned out to be a helpful thing in this case because after so many weeks of learning I actually have a much more complete view of this topic now. Thanks God!

Let's back track several weeks to me having a breakdown when being prayed for with no apparent reason. It was then that it became apparent that as much as I thought I trusted God, I actually didn't. It took every ounce of hopeful faith I had in that moment to get out a shaky "yes" when asked if God is good. What on earth?? This totally threw me off because I thought that I had truly grasped the concept of God being good all the time, and therefore trustworthy. After all, I had followed Him to Australia! I'd seen Him provide not only for my family time and time again over the years, but for me personally to get here! He's given me so many amazing things in my life and has made my dreams come true, where was this deep rooted fear coming from?

God is interesting. The way that He chooses to work in our lives is fascinating and unique to the individual. With that seemingly random breakdown God was showing me that there was doubt deep in my heart but then we had to backtrack in order to deal with it. Maybe I wouldn't have been as open to instruction if I had not recognized my own weakness and need before that, only God knows.

Turns out as much as I thought I understood God's love for me, I was partly rejecting it. I was refusing to love myself. It was sinful and especially prideful, not humble. For the record, I actually thought I already had this one, I thought I loved myself, but I didn't. I had convinced myself that I did just because I didn't rag on myself the way I've seen other teenage girls do, but that isn't the same thing. God would declare Truth over me, that I am beautiful, valuable, and important and I would reject it saying that I wasn't worthy. I would not believe God. I would literally tell God that He was wrong. I thought I knew myself better than God did. I thought it was too good to be true and I didn't deserve it. That hurt God's heart because He loves me so much exactly how He made me to be. It has been a process, but I can now say that I love myself, in all of who God has created me to be. There are definitely parts of me that I'm still growing in confidence with, but I no longer hate what I see in the mirror. In fact I love it. I'm unafraid to be who I am: deep, fangirl, smart, and beautiful. In fact, who I am is captivating. It is a reflection of the very character of God. It's God's love shining through me, and that's the most remarkable thing in the world.

So with that revelation I came into a greater love for God, and was excited, but didn't know exactly what to do with it. This, my friends, is the basis of evangelism. Evangelism is sharing the good news. You can't share good news if you don't believe it is good. I now KNEW that it is good, and so now I can be a channel of that love to other people. I have a river of living water flowing out of me. I can see other people with God's eyes and love them for the amazing person God created them to be. This means that I can never be annoyed by anyone without losing my focus. If I'm loving people the way He does, I will have patience and compassion. It means that I cannot feel rejected by people because my acceptance is found purely in Christ. It means that I'm willing to humble myself before people when I blow it. It means I'm a new person, and I'm so excited!! So now I evangelize all the time. It's just telling my story. It's just showing love. Love never fails. I cannot fail if I am acting purely out of love. Because even if they blow me off that love will still put a rock in their shoe to show them that there are people who care. 

The amount of people I randomly pray with has gone through the roof because my fear of people has disappeared. They are simply wounded people who need God's love, and I carry that love with me. While I was worshipping in a park with my team a couple of guys started talking to us and by the end of it they had accepted Jesus into their lives. It was amazing! I was so excited, because they were beginning to see how God loves them, but it is only the beginning my friends. It's not about "conversions." It's about transformed lives. 

Live from love. Not for it.