Discovering Normal #Nannylife

While writing this I am sitting on a bench at a playground surrounded by children of all ages and parents of all dispositions. Becoming a nanny has been an interesting transition for my life. In some ways I feel like I have become a mom prematurely, as the booster seats in my car, kids snacks in my bag and phone with endless adorable pictures can testify. (I even had a nightmare that my car was stolen and the little boy inside was kidnapped on my watch.) My days are filled with outings to parks, Bass Pro Shop or the zoo, conversations with parents also determined for children’s days to be more than just television or the back yard, and seemingly endless driving. I strongly considered beginning to get a business degree online during this time, but I realized I would have absolutely no time to rest. Which is what I’m used to. That’s why this is hard for me in the weirdest way, I’m leading the life that most people have all of their lives to be normal, and I have to choose to not go back to doing every imaginable thing except sleep. My life up until this point has been extraordinary; filled with travel, uniqueness and pulling long hours. But now I work Monday through Friday and get home tired from driving in traffic around 5 pm. My weekends are full of church and friends and making a legitimate date happen. 

The funny thing is that I’m finally learning all the normal every day life things that most people seem to have always known, but my irregular life did not lend to me learning to begin with. Things like closing the garage door when you pull out, waiting in a car line to pick a child up from school or making lunch for me and a little guy every day. Actually it’s the every day bit that is the most crazy to me. I’m doing the same thing every day, every week. But the most shocking part is not being to leave and do what I want when I want just as long as I ask off. I can’t leave because that would screw over the family, they can’t just put the kids in daycare for a month randomly. I’m a part of their lives, practically family. And this is good. It’s good to see things from the perspective of most of the people I come across. It’s good to know what it is like to be committed to something and not be free to do all that I would like to do, but be doing all God wants me to do for right now. It’s good to be content in the season of life I find myself, anticipating with forward joy what God has in store for the future. It’s good to discover normal.

P.S. In case this wasn't well communicated, I totally love my job and it is exactly what I needed. God is so good. Well behaved kids are the best thing ever.

Stress is Bad.

It has always struck me how often it happens that when you are encouraging someone else you are just speaking truth to yourself. I was just reminding a close friend of mine in a similar situation that stress does not bring glory to God, when in actually I'm needing to hear that myself. Stress really is an interesting thing. It starts with worry, and soon it is a weight you don't know how to get out from under. Usually little things that you feel you have no control over keep piling up and before you know it, you are trapped. 

But what does it really mean when we stress? From what I can tell it can mean one of two things. Either we are afraid God won't come through for us, or we think we are more powerful than God and will therefore ruin everything. When put like that it seems pretty ridiculous to stress out because both are against the very nature of this all powerful, all good and loving God that we serve. Would God ever call us to something then leave us there hanging only to laugh at our failure? Never. He loves us and has bigger plans than we can imagine. Why would He do that to us? But not only that, but to Himself! He would be shaming His great name by being unfaithful and messing up His own plans. But we don't like the openly blame God, so we blame ourselves and say that we are afraid of hearing God wrong, or of not following Him well, or of generally screwing over every dream we had of being all we were meant to be. But that thought assumes that we, people who are doing our level best to seek God, could accidentally override the creator of the universe. As if His plans are so flimsy that we, while doing all we know to do, would ruin God and therefore ourselves. I don't want to serve that petty of a God. I want to serve a God Who is greater than I am. Isn't that the point of serving Him in the first place? Because He is worthy. 

So like I said, lately I was stressed out. About many many things in fact. But God is sovereign, and that gives me peace. It isn't up to me to work out my life. Like Micah 6:8 says, "He has told you men what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: Only to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God." That is pretty simple honestly. 

And yet in light of all of this, in the face of my near faithlessness that I would ever find a job or peace, God has been faithful. I have accepted a position as a nanny and will be able to do and be all the things God has called me to. I will be able to save money for Kona, get enough rest, have time to do ministry, and be a positive influence over this little boy. 

So yes, stress is bad, but God is good.