This is the basis of true Christianity. After all, "God is love." (1 John 4:8)
Turns out I had not truly understood this like I thought I had.
I've had this draft open for weeks. I'm not very good at posting regularly; I've never claimed to be. However it turned out to be a helpful thing in this case because after so many weeks of learning I actually have a much more complete view of this topic now. Thanks God!
Let's back track several weeks to me having a breakdown when being prayed for with no apparent reason. It was then that it became apparent that as much as I thought I trusted God, I actually didn't. It took every ounce of hopeful faith I had in that moment to get out a shaky "yes" when asked if God is good. What on earth?? This totally threw me off because I thought that I had truly grasped the concept of God being good all the time, and therefore trustworthy. After all, I had followed Him to Australia! I'd seen Him provide not only for my family time and time again over the years, but for me personally to get here! He's given me so many amazing things in my life and has made my dreams come true, where was this deep rooted fear coming from?
God is interesting. The way that He chooses to work in our lives is fascinating and unique to the individual. With that seemingly random breakdown God was showing me that there was doubt deep in my heart but then we had to backtrack in order to deal with it. Maybe I wouldn't have been as open to instruction if I had not recognized my own weakness and need before that, only God knows.
Turns out as much as I thought I understood God's love for me, I was partly rejecting it. I was refusing to love myself. It was sinful and especially prideful, not humble. For the record, I actually thought I already had this one, I thought I loved myself, but I didn't. I had convinced myself that I did just because I didn't rag on myself the way I've seen other teenage girls do, but that isn't the same thing. God would declare Truth over me, that I am beautiful, valuable, and important and I would reject it saying that I wasn't worthy. I would not believe God. I would literally tell God that He was wrong. I thought I knew myself better than God did. I thought it was too good to be true and I didn't deserve it. That hurt God's heart because He loves me so much exactly how He made me to be. It has been a process, but I can now say that I love myself, in all of who God has created me to be. There are definitely parts of me that I'm still growing in confidence with, but I no longer hate what I see in the mirror. In fact I love it. I'm unafraid to be who I am: deep, fangirl, smart, and beautiful. In fact, who I am is captivating. It is a reflection of the very character of God. It's God's love shining through me, and that's the most remarkable thing in the world.
So with that revelation I came into a greater love for God, and was excited, but didn't know exactly what to do with it. This, my friends, is the basis of evangelism. Evangelism is sharing the good news. You can't share good news if you don't believe it is good. I now KNEW that it is good, and so now I can be a channel of that love to other people. I have a river of living water flowing out of me. I can see other people with God's eyes and love them for the amazing person God created them to be. This means that I can never be annoyed by anyone without losing my focus. If I'm loving people the way He does, I will have patience and compassion. It means that I cannot feel rejected by people because my acceptance is found purely in Christ. It means that I'm willing to humble myself before people when I blow it. It means I'm a new person, and I'm so excited!! So now I evangelize all the time. It's just telling my story. It's just showing love. Love never fails. I cannot fail if I am acting purely out of love. Because even if they blow me off that love will still put a rock in their shoe to show them that there are people who care.
The amount of people I randomly pray with has gone through the roof because my fear of people has disappeared. They are simply wounded people who need God's love, and I carry that love with me. While I was worshipping in a park with my team a couple of guys started talking to us and by the end of it they had accepted Jesus into their lives. It was amazing! I was so excited, because they were beginning to see how God loves them, but it is only the beginning my friends. It's not about "conversions." It's about transformed lives.
Live from love. Not for it.
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